Have you ever had a crush on someone? Or are you aware of someone having a crush on you?
A crush is defined in the dictionary as “a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable”.
Ever considered why we have crushes, even after knowing that nothing is going to come out of it. Weirdly, we tend to pine for someone or something that is not within our reach. We want it so much though we know very well that we can’t have it.
If this was attainable, it won’t be called crush but it would be love. This would lead to relationships and even lifelong commitments. Crushes are just passing fancies that we like to entertain and to a large extent, encourage.
Why do we have crushes? Even an otherwise logical and sane person falls for this strange bittersweet feeling and behavior.
The worst situation you can find yourself in is for you to have a crush on someone but the person is unaware of it. They don’t know about your existence. It cannot get sadder than this. When you find yourself in such a situation and don’t know what to do, read on.
This article delves deep into the world of relationships, especially the psychology of crush. Here, you will find some of the common as well as less-known psychological facts about crushes. Armed with these crush facts, you will be in a better position to deal with the situation you find yourselves in. Again, with the right kind of information, you won’t falter when you are at the receiving end of a crush.
Interesting Psychological facts about crushes
Crush is usually harmless. You feel infatuated with someone. Most probably they won’t even get to know about it. After the brief covert obsession, you forget about it with none the wiser.
However, the story of this unrequited love may not always end like this. You may mistake it for real love and try to pursue your chances with the person you are infatuated with. This may lead to all sorts of mayhem for yourself as well as the other person.
There is also a possibility that the object of your obsession may get to know about your crush and misinterpret it for real love. Even if you get over your crush, you will find yourself in a pickle.
Experiencing a crush can also wreak havoc with your mindset and daily schedule. Though for a brief period, your health and prospects for the future may also suffer because of this short-lived fling.
The ultimate question is why do you even have crushes? You know very well that this person is not within your reach or unsuitable for you to have a happy, healthy relationship. Despite this, you go ahead with your infatuation.
One of the most startling psychological facts about love and crushes in human beings is that we always want something that is not easily available to us. Something that is a bit out of reach. The thrill of pursuit is what we all are looking for.
And, going against the tide, again, is something many of us find exhilarating. You will have a crush on someone who is considered inappropriate by society. You would be like, “Why not? I can have a crush and who is going to prevent me?”
In most cases, a crush will last for anything from a few days or weeks to a maximum of 3-4 months. On rare occasions, a crush may lead to real love and relationships.
Here are some odd psychological facts about crushes.
1. They are perfect.
Your crush never seems to have any human flaws or frailties. They can never do anything wrong or say anything out of place. In short, they are the epitome of perfection.
When you are having a crush on someone, you may get warnings from your well-wishers about the person and unwanted advice not to go ahead with it. Once you get over the crush phase, you would be able to see this for yourself. But when you are suffering from it, your vision seems impaired.
Studies suggest that your crush appears much more attractive in all senses. This is a trick played by your mind on you.
2. Crush is short-lived.
Studies cap the maximum duration of a crush at 3-4 months. Some may die their natural death much earlier, such as in a few hours, days, or weeks.
This can be explained convincingly as a crush is just a superficial attraction. It never goes deeper beyond the surface. As time passes, you may see them for who they are and your crush feelings die a natural death. Or you may get caught up with someone or something else and you just forget about your crush.
Either way, crush is merely a passing phase.
3. In rare cases, a crush may transform into love.
Some studies tag this percentage at 1%. How accurate this figure is not known but one thing is for sure, most crushes fade away and get forgotten within a short span.
Maybe once in a blue moon, crushes do get converted to real relationships. What may begin as a crush will turn into love and the people involved will experience a meaningful relationship with each other. Again, how long this relationship will last remains to be seen because it was started on a wrong footing.
Stranger things happen in this world. So there is a real possibility of sometime spending a lifetime with their crush.
4. Fantasy triumphs over reality
One of the hidden facts about having a crush on someone is that you start detaching yourself from reality and enter a fantasy world. You decide how things are and what is happening in this world. This world you created in your mind doesn’t have any link to the real world in which you are living.
You enjoy living in this fantasy world so much that you refuse to leave it and connect with the object of your infatuation. Maybe you know that you may have to let go of your fantasy if you make contact with them.
You would like to think of your crush as a perfect relationship with no faults.
5. You see your crush everywhere.
Anything you see reminds you of your crush. Your crush is all you can think of and the only one who is occupying your mind, stealing away all the attention.
When you are in crush mode, all you can see and hear is their name. You mistake strangers for them. You hear their voices everywhere. In psychology, this situation of frequency illusion is known as Baader Meinhof Phenomenon. It is a cognitive bias that forces you to believe that something is happening more frequently than it actually is because you are consumed by it.
The moment you find yourself back in the land of reality, all these strange illusions vanish.
6. “Look into my eyes.”
Studies tell us that when you are having a crush on someone, you can say whether the person has reciprocating feelings by looking into their eyes.
It is generally believed that you can tell if there is any connection with a person by locking eyes with them. When another person has feelings for you, their pupils dilate and it is easy to pick up the signs.
If you really want to go down this path and confirm that your feelings are returned, go ahead and lock eyes with your crush.
7. You find it hard to lie to them.
Irrespective of whether your crush is aware of your feelings for them or not, you find it impossible to be dishonest. You feel as if you want to be on your best behavior and lying is definitely not included in that.
One of the most obvious facts about having a crush on someone is that you feel jittery and nervous when you are in their presence. You won’t have your wits around you. You find that you no longer have the capability to think clearly. You just blurt out whatever is in your mind.
Even if you are older, you will act like a teenager. This is more like a teenage crush. You are always trying to impress your crush with your honesty and by revealing more facts about yourself.
8. Your heart goes thumpety thumps.
When you are near your crush, you find your heart beating twice as fast. At times, you feel as if your heart is about to burst or snap. You take deep breaths and try hard to calm it down but nothing works.
There is a scientific reason for this. When you are attracted to someone, your brain releases neurotransmitters and hormones epinephrine and norepinephrine into the bloodstream. While epinephrine has a direct effect on the heart, norepinephrine increases the blood flow in the arteries and veins. Together, they make your heart pump faster than normal.
The effect of the heart beating faster is phenomenal. It will make you sit up and take note of what is happening to you.
9. Guys and gals behave differently.
If you are a guy and experiencing a crush on someone, you would want to lock eyes with your crush. On the other hand, if you are a girl, you would try to avoid looking into the eyes of the person you are desiring.
Maybe this is part of the social culture we grew up with or it is in our genetic makeup. Men and women do not behave the same way when they are attracted to someone. Men may be looking for confirmation of their attraction, even while revealing what they are experiencing. However, women may not find it easier to reveal true feelings. This may be the reason for their avoiding eye contact.
You can get an idea whether your crush is into you or not this way.
10. You miss them without realizing it.
In some corner of your mind, you know that the crush feelings are not the real thing. You try not to get caught in it. You know that you are not in love with the person and it is only a temporary attraction. You try your best not to think about them all the time.
The more you do this, the worse it gets. You will be thinking about them all the time and missing every moment away from them. Already we know that crush is a form of obsession. When your mind is obsessed with someone, you will find it hard or even impossible to prevent your mind from dwelling on them.
The more you think about your crush, the more you miss them.
Knowing the psychological facts about crushes can help you identify whether you are having a crush on someone or someone is having a crush on you. Without these signs, you may find it hard to decide one way or the other.
When you can confirm what you are experiencing are crush feelings and not something deeper can help you deal with the emotions and thoughts in a sensible way. Again, if someone is having a crush on you, knowing about it can help you manage the situation well. Or else your naive behavior may get you into trouble.